LURCHING BACK

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So many Lurchers, so little time. How times flies when I’m glued to my desk and the world (aka the Republicans in Congress) descends into chaos! Honestly, there are so many ridiculous things to comment about that I’m sorry I’ve been so busy (and am about to get busier).  Let me just say that I sometimes wish for a healthier dollop of Decrepitude whenever I try to parse one of the sentences that spews forth from the Donald. Have you noticed his extremely peculiar manner of talking? He says “very” very often; makes an idiotic pronouncement; then sort of tries to backpedal.

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I mention this only because it’s a lot easier to focus on his grammar than to realize American citizens actually think he is worth voting for.

 

APPLE CORES

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You may have noticed my absence for the last week. Blame Apple. (I sure can’t blame whoever did what was done in the photo here! LOL) Blame this rotten MacBook Pro that has been defective from day one. They had to replace the logic board and the computer seems to be working better than it ever has….for now (knock wood). I hate it and the smug faces of the Geniuses who say they never need to replace defective computers because “they can always be fixed.” So….I was machine-less and stressed-out, and now that I’m back up, I am so crazed on deadline that I need to take a summer hiatus from Lurching. There’s lots to Lurch about (especially the bilge spewed by The Donald–what a chump!) and I am feeling more Decrepit than even but I’ll have to bite my tongue and vent in a tizzy in September. See you then.

CANCUN A GO-GO

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After the idiotic, racist comments about Mexico spouted forth by Donald Trump–“They’re sending us not their finest people. And it’s people from countries other than Mexico also,” said he. “We have drug dealers coming across, we have rapists, we have killers, we have murderers. I mean it’s common sense, what do you think they’re going to send us their best people, their finest people? The answer is no.”–I think it’s fair to assume that he won’t be vacationing in Cancun or Cabo any time soon.

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And as I posted yesterday, the only people happy about this wretched excuse of a human being demeaning the presidential race (as if the current Republicans haven’t done enough damage to this planet and this country already) are the comedians. Watch Jon Stewart if you don’t believe me!

RUPE, ROTTEN

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While still on a racial note, let’s bring Donald Trump Rupert Murdoch into the mix, with his stunningly silly and obnoxious comments about the upcoming waste of time Biblical epic, Exodus: Gods and Kings, directed by Ridley Scott. Ridley claimed that he wouldn’t have been able to get the film financed had he used Egyptian actors who are unknown to American audiences—so he hired the English Christian Bale as Moses and the Australian Joel Edgerton to play Pharaoh instead. (Let’s not forget Sigourney Weaver as an Egyptian, either!)

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Ridley has a point, of course, given the myopic unimaginativeness of Tinseltown, but there are plenty of amazing actors from the Middle East who could have been cast; Joel is a terrific actor not known well-known enough to carry the film.

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In Uncle Rupe’s world, however, what does that matter? “Moses film attacked on Twitter for all white cast,” he Tweeted. “Since when are Egyptians not white? All I know are.”

So you have to ask yourself exactly how many Egyptians Uncle Rupe knows. (Omar Sharif?) And then you have to ask what the hell was he drinking.

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After suitable outrage on Twitter, an unrepentant Rupe Tweeted, “Everybody-attacks last tweet. Of course Egyptians are Middle Eastern, but far from black. They treated blacks as slaves.”

Um never mind that his history is a little off.

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But he knows all about slaves. Just ask his journalists who were told to hack or be hacked.

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So he oughta know.

BUNDLE UP

I thought I’d put my winter coat away for good this year, but no….. I needed it last night when I was walking the dog and I needed it this morning when walking him again and then taking my son to the bus for school. It’s ridiculous. March went into the record books as one of the hottest ever–but not here.

But that’s the thing the climate change twinkies like the Comb-over King don’t get. Weather is not climate. Weather is what’s going on outside. Climate is long-term.

And the climate is changing, whether the twinkies accept it or not.

BABY, IT’S COLD OUTSIDE

I’d like to give a big shout-out to the MTA, for making my son and me wait 20 minutes on a record-cold day. The bus that takes him to school should arrive every 3-4 minutes. Ha.

Speaking of jokesters, the intense cold that’s engulfed most of the USA is dangerous, but it’s nothing new. That, of course, doesn’t stop the climate-change deniers like the Comb-over King, Donald Trump. What these morons don’t understand that weather is not climate. Weather is what’s outside your door. Climate is long-term.

And just because there’s a polar vortex in the northern hemisphere doesn’t mean there isn’t devastating overheating in the southern hemisphere. Just ask an Australian farmer who’s lost everything thanks to drought, or those broiling in Rio right now, and they’ll look at you as if you have three heads if you deny climate change. The world is heating up. Weather patterns are shifting. And a few days of bitter cold having nothing to do with that. In fact, I just checked the 10-day forecast for NYC, and it’s going to warm up to the 50s soon. That is not normal for January, either.

Trump is certainly old enough to remember what winter used to be like when he was a lot younger. It was cold, all the time. We’d have weeks of zero-degree weather and snow storms and blizzards. You got used to it because it happened every winter. And then, slowly, that started to shift.

Read this http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/climate_desk/2014/01/climate_change_deniers_cite_snowstorm_debunking_donald_trump_et_al.html is you don’t believe me.

Then bundle up, please. At least for today.

WEARING THE PANTS

 

A new show recently shown in the UK, The Secret Life Of…, must have been a hoot to watch since these portraits were commissioned for it. Dr. Suzannah Lipscomb, a historian, worked with a digital artist for several months to create portraits of what famous figures might have looked like had they been born in the twentieth century.

Elizabeth I

Queen Elizabeth I could easily take on Donald Trump and fire his ass.

Henry VIII

Ditto Henry VIII.

William Shakespeare

Was Shakespeare gay?

Horatio Nelson

Admiral Horatio Nelson would have barked orders using his prosthetic arm.

Marie Antoinette

Marie Antoinette would have had her own reality show and been BFFs with the Kardashian Klan of Kooks.

I think I like the originals better. Older, yes; more stylish, totally.