DON’T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT

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Alas, it is long overdue and a major miracle time to say goodbye: Michele Bachman is leaving Congress.

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Cue the Hallelujah Chorus!

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She didn’t leave me disappointed, however, as her farewell pile of gibberish speech has already become a classic of utter idiocy and bone-headed wrongness.

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“And here in the United States, the Ten Commandments that God gave to Moses is the very foundation of the law that has given happiness and the rise of the greatest prosperity that any nation has known before,” she said.

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“I also want to say thank you to the God who saved me. I am so grateful to the Holy God who created us, the creator God, the God that Jefferson pointed to in the Declaration of Independence. It is because of him, because he created me in his image and likeness as he has each one of us, that I even had the possibility coming here to be able to serve.”

Then she read out the second paragraph of the Declaration of Independence. Not that she has a clue what it really means, because she then said, “What that means to me is this: no government gave me rights, that only God can give. And no government can take away the rights that only God can give. The only reason that we have a government and the only reason it was instituted among men is to secure for me and to you, the rights that God gave us. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Beyond that, we rule by the consent of the governed. This is a pretty simple gig to figure out here.”

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Not if you’re Michele!

And then she left with this whopper: “My Favorite Americans are those who didn’t know they were Americans: they were the Pilgrims. They came here even before our nation was founded.”

bachmann-frackingland Yeah, and killed most of the natives who were here already!

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Have a nice life at home with hubby, dear Michele. Make sure you check his Snapchat once in a while to check up on all the hot boys he’s following.

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Just sayin’.