THE PERFECT ARYAN

In one of those amazing stories of incomparable ironies, Hessy Taft’s come close to the top. She was an adorable six-month-old baby, living in Berlin with her parents in 1935, when a photographer named Hans Ballin took her photo. Not only that, but he submitted it when a competition was being held to find the perfect specimen of Aryan babyhood. Propagandist extraordinaire (and all-around worthless slime), Joseph Goebbels himself chose this photo as the most Aryan of them all, and it appeared on the cover of a Nazi “family” magazine, Sonne ins Hause.

Goebbels never found out that Hessy was Jewish.

What a mensch Hans was. He deliberately submitted the photo, knowing of Hessy’s Jewishness, in order to prove that the Nazis were “ridiculous.” He proved his point. Unfortunately, they were also ridiculous killing machines, and we know the rest.

Luckily, Hessy and her family managed to get out of Europe and they survived the war. She became a chemistry professor in NYC, and just donated the issue of Sonne ins Hause to the Yad Vashem Holocaust Museum in Israel.

“I feel a little revenge,” she said “Something like satisfaction.”

And she should.

CRASHING THROUGH FOR JESUS

If you want to use a pithy and attention-grabbing quote on a billboard to advertise your youth ministry, there are gazillions of choices.

Yet some twinkle-headed morons from the Life Savers Ministry not only put up a Hitler quote on an Auburn, Alabama billboard, they credited the author. How thoughtful!

Quoting Hitler, the man responsible for creating some of the most God-less places on this earth, is never a good idea, unless you are teaching or writing about history. Doing it in public is worse. Doing it in public to bring people to your ministry is beyond.

Does whoever approved this even know who Hitler was? Or Hitler Youth? “He alone, who owns the youth, gains the future” is what Hitler said when he formed that group. It wasn’t about bringing his acolytes to Jesus, It was about brainwashing them and turning them into killing machines.

I know there are a lot of stupid people in the world, but there is no excuse to not knowing even the bare minimum of history that would have you realize that quoting Hitler is not going to be a good idea.

The group has since taken the billboard down and apologized, sort of.  “We are a children’s organization and had honorable intentions and nothing less,” a rep told the local paper, the Ledger-Enquirer.

Sorry. Not good enough. Honorable and Hitler have nothing in common.

Unless you’re a Nazi.

KRISTALLNACHT OF THE SOUL

In a mind-boggling display of entitlement-drenched cluelessness, a venture capitalist named Thomas Perkins saw fit to pen a letter to the editors at the Wall Street Journal, entitled “Progressive Kristallnacht Coming?”

In further proof—as if you needed it—that sacks’o cash do not necessarily buy class, brains, compassion, or understanding, Thomas had the audacity to complain about how awful it is to be referred to as the “one percent,” and to (gasp!) have to pay taxes on his gold bars. Why, it’s just as awful as being a Jew in Germany, about to be exterminated! 

“I would call attention to the parallels of fascist Nazi Germany to its war on its ‘one percent,’ namely its Jews, to the progressive war on the American one percent, namely the ‘rich,'” wrote Mr. Greedy Guts. “From the Occupy movement to the demonization of the rich embedded in virtually every word of our local newspaper, the San Francisco Chronicle, I perceive a rising tide of hatred of the successful one percent. There is outraged public reaction to the Google buses carrying technology workers from the city to the peninsula high-tech companies which employ them. We have outrage over the rising real-estate prices which these ‘techno geeks’ can pay….This is a very dangerous drift in our American thinking. Kristallnacht was unthinkable in 1930; is its descendent ‘progressive’ radicalism unthinkable now?”

Wow! Some middle fingers have been wagged at the smarmy mugs of spoiled, overpaid techno-brats on their free busses to work—just like hard labor at Bergen-Belsen!

Wow! Some spoiled, overpaid techno-brats have pushed the middle class out of the neighborhoods they’ve lived in all their lives—just like being herded into the Warsaw Ghetto to die of starvation!

Wow! Some spoiled, overpaid venture capitalist looks out at all those horrible poor people standing in line for a free meal because greedy pigs like him have closed their factories—just like having your business smashed to smithereens and being told you’re vermin before being shot by the Gestapo!

Thomas Perkins, please, go off in one of your private jets to one of your mega-mansions and lick your horrible, painful, life-changing, soul-sucking wounds in private. While you’re moaning about the savage public reaction to your disgusting paean of selfishness and greed, perhaps you might consider a more suitable means of disposing of your fortune.

To, perhaps, the survivors of the Holocaust.

 

IT’S NEVER TOO LATE

It’s still early in the year and the monsters that I’m sure I’ll be ranting about soon enough can stay in their caves for a while as I spotlight a wonderful story. One proving that it’s never too late to stop searching for something—or someone—important.

Read this for details: http://www.nj.com/union/index.ssf/2013/12/holocaust_survivor_liberator_meet_after_68_years.html

It’s the saga of Marsha Kreuzman, now 90, who had spent much of her adult life trying to find the American soldiers who liberated her from the Mauthausen concentration camp. All of her family had already been murdered by the Nazis, and Marsha, weighing barely 68 pounds, was close to dying when the Germans finally disappeared at the end of April 1945, and the 11th Armored Division arrived. She was nursed back to health, got married, moved to England and then to New Jersey in 1952.

This past October, she read a wedding anniversary announcement in The Star-Ledger for Joe and Anne Barbella. It also mentioned that Joseph had been with the 11th Armored Division. Ecstatic,  Marsha called him the next day, and they were soon able to meet, and they’ve since become good friends.

To her, Joe is a hero.

He demurs. “I’m just an ordinary solider,” he stated.

He was a lot more than that.

Think about what a real hero is next time the media is crowing about some person who wins a basketball game or stars in a movie.

Think about the 11th Armored Division and what they saw.

And who they saved.

 

PLUCK YOU, PHIL ROBERTSON!

Just when you thought it was safe to turn off A&E and keep it off, intrepid Internet searchers did the world a favor and uncovered a juicy nugget showing that Phil Robertson is not only a hateful racist and homophobe, but a misogynistic near-pedophile with a sick attitude about women.

In 2009, Pervert Phil was giving a speech to the “river rats” at the Sportsmen’s Ministry—what do they do, pray that they kill a whole lotta ducks before they go out shooting?—and had no idea the stupid crap spewing out of his mouth would someday come back to bite him in his sorry buttinski.

“Make sure she can cook a meal,” he crowed, “and make sure she carries your Bible.”

Then he added, “If she picks your ducks, now that’s a woman!”

Right. Because every woman wants to grow up to be plucking feathers from freshly killed ducks to satisfy the manhood of the caveman they got hitched to.

Then Phil went on: “They’re gettin’ hard to find, mainly because these boys are waitin’ ’til they get to be about 20 years old before they marry them. Look, you wait ’til they get to be about 20 years old, the only pickin’ that’s gonna take place is your pocket! You gotta marry these girls when they’re about 15, 16, they’ll pick your ducks.”

One caveat: “You need to check with mom and dad about that, of course.”

After you’ve finished plucking.

PS – Comments have also surfaced of dear ol’ Phil ranting about non-“Christian”-like behavior:  “You say ‘Why do they murder, why do they hate us?! Because all of them, those four groups, 80 years of history, they all want to conquer the world, they all rejected Jesus, and they’re all famous for murder. Nazis, Shintoists, communists, and the Muhammadists…. Every one of them, the same way.”

And I feel the same way about you.

 

ART FOR THE AGES

One of the most astonishing stories you might have seen lately is about an enormous stash of art, confiscated by or bought for a pittance from fleeing Jews by the Nazis for their Degenerate Art exhibition in 1937 (an exhibit which became an inadvertent hit, as so many people came to see the art that was allegedly “degenerate”).. Over 1,500 priceless works of art were found, hidden behind rotting cans of soup, in the nondescript rented Munich apartment of Cornelius Gurlitt, son of the art dealer Hildebrand Gurlitt.

After the war, Hildebrand lied to investigators and said that these masterpieces had been destroyed in the 1945 fire-bombing of Dresden. No one bothered to check out his story. Hildebrand died in 1956 and his widow kept up the lies until her death. Then their son disappeared.

What happened in 2010 could be written up as a spy novel and people still wouldn’t believe it. Cornelius was caught when he was acting nervous while on a train from Switzerland to Germany. Eagle-eyed customs officials discovered that he was carrying a huge wad of Euros, and when his paperwork was checked, further suspicions were raised about his true identity and address. A warrant allowed his apartment to be searched. Police must have keeled over when they uncovered the loot.

Since this unbelievable find had been kept secret for several years, questions have understandably been raised about why the silence. German authenticators said they wanted to catalog everything before going public, as there are going to be tons of lawsuits and claims by descendants who can prove provenance—or try to prove it. It’s going to be a mess. Restitution is sticky business.

I also wonder what kind of punishment Cornelius should be given. How horrible to think that if the rightful owners can’t be found, he might be allowed to keep some of his ill-gained treasure.

But that doesn’t take away from the joy that all this art has been brought back to life. Hopefully the heirs to the rightful owners will be able to enjoy their windfall—and the art that their families had so shamefully stolen.

And art lovers can see these works again.

For more, go to http://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2013/nov/04/munich-hoard-lost-art-nazis

 

ANNE’S ANATOMY

 

Can Anne Frank rest in peace? Apparently not.

First Justin Bieber clowns around in her hiding place in Amsterdam and signs the visitors’ book hoping she would have been a Belieber. Um, not. (I already wrote about this pea brain).

And now, the mother of a seventh grader in Michigan is claiming that unedited version of The Diary of Anne Frank is too graphic for the tender sensibilities of her daughter and her classmates, weaned as they are on a steady diet of YouTube twerking, sexting, and smut. 

“It’s pretty graphic, and it’s pretty pornographic for seventh-grade boys and girls to be reading,” Gail Horalek told reporters at Detroit-based Fox 2. “It’s inappropriate for a teacher to be giving this material out to the kids when it’s really the parents’ job to give the students this information.”

The passage in question Anne writing simply about the anatomy of her genitals. It is about as pornographic as a wave hitting the sand.

Guess who’s got a dirty mind, reading sexual content into pure anatomical description?

And if anything is pornographic about Anne Frank, her family, and everyone else murdered by the Nazis, it’s what was done to her.

I thought about that yesterday when I posted the RIP for Deanna Durbin, so beloved by Anne that Deanna’s photo was put up on the wall.

Gail needs to get over it.

WARSAW GHETTO UPRISING RIP

Yesterday was the 70th anniversary of the beginning of the uprising of the Jews in the Warsaw Ghetto. It only lasted until May 16, 1943, when the Germans destroyed the ghetto, blew up the Great Synagogue of Warsaw, and captured nearly all of the remaining survivors, nearly all of whom were shot or exterminated in Treblinka.

With the events in Boston and elsewhere weighing heavily, it is worth–more than ever–celebrating the astonishing courage of the fighters who had few weapons, who knew their cause was hopeless, who were given little help by the Polish Resistance (many of whom were as anti-Semitic as the Nazis), who’d seen most of their neighbors deported to certain death or dying of disease and starvation, yet who stood up against Goliath.

They may have lost the battle but they won the war.

 

 

STAR OF BELIEIBER

While on the topic of idiotic and offensive references to the suffering of the Jews in the Holocaust, enter one young man still 31 years away from Lurching, but whose comment about this woman, who would have been nearly 84 had she not be exterminated in a concentration camp, are so patently stupid that I just can’t let them slide.

In other words, Justin Bieber, on tour in Europe where he is singing for his supper when he’s not running around threatening the paparazzi and pulling up his pants, paid a visit to the Anne Frank House in Amsterdam. As millions have done before him, he signed the guest book.

“Truly inspiring to be able to come here,” he wrote. “Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a belieber.”

Okay, so you have to cut JB some slack because we already knew he is a 19-year-old spoiled, rich, egomaniacal object of affection for hordes of young girls crushing on puppy love.

But on the other hand, why should we cut anyone any slack for such unbelievable hubris?

Honestly, Anne Frank had better things to do with her time than moon over dopey cute boys with good hair. I sincerely doubt she would have been a belieber. Gee, I dunno, maybe the Nazis had something to do with that. Or maybe her smarts, good taste, selflessness, and spirit would have too.

She would have seen JB for what he is: A bratty little putz.

Or maybe she would have seen right through JB’s monumental ego. Signing a book that is an homage to one of the most courageous teens who ever lived and making it all about him is what rankles.

Over to you, Canada. He’s all yours!