WONDER BAGGING

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If you’re going to tell the world a sob story about how poor you were that you needed to slip Wonder Bread bags over your feet to keep them dry in the rain, you might want to be you’re your poverty was for real.

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But a reality check never got in the way of Joni Ernst, the Republican senator from Iowa. She gave the Republican response to President Obama’s State of the Union address last week and shared the woe-is-me tale of her Wonder booties. Then, of course, it was on to insulting the Democrats for their “wasteful spending.” And that, commendably, she wanted to be working in a country where “you don’t need to come from wealth or privilege to make a difference.”

“You just need the freedom to dream big, and a whole lot of hard work,” she continued.

Except that Joni somehow forgot all the farm subsidies her family has gotten over the years. Lots and lots of federal farm subsidies. Iowa farmers are ranked second only to Texas farmers in the amount of federal subsidies they are paid.

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 Now I think farmers work harder than anyone and deserve the help they need.

 

Is Joni going to tell all her constituents that their subsidies are “wasteful spending?”

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That would be a whole new kind of Wonder.

EBOLA OF THE BRAIN

Now that Ebola is in Texas, it’s time to look at a different kind of virus. You know, the kind that replicates in the brains of certain Republicans, pushing aside all the sentient, thinking nerve cells and replacing them with offense-spewing mush.

Case in point: Newly inaugurated Texas State Senator Charles Perry. Right after the horrible moment when this moron was sworn in, he had this to say:  “There were 10,000 people that were paraded into a medical office under the guise of a physical. As they stood with their back against the wall, they were executed with a bullet through the throat. Before they left, 10,000 people met their fate that way,” he blathered, making reference the murder of innocent Jews during the Holocaust. “Is it not the same than when our government continues to perpetuate laws that lead citizens away from God? The only difference is that the fraud of the Germans was more immediate and whereas the fraud of today’s government will not be exposed until the final days and will have eternal-lasting effects.”

In Charles’ addled state, he forgot the Golden Rule of politics. Never bring up the Holocaust in comparison to any of your own lame ideas.

And the Golden Rule of our Constitution aka the separation of church and state.

“Where is that giant of a nation that was founded on the eternal and never-changing values of a loving God and the desire to share that?” he went on. “I don’t recognize it on so many levels today.”

Maybe because you’re looking for it in Tricky Ricky’s office, pal.

Wrong place to look.

 

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A law-abiding citizen named Kametra Barbour was driving home with her two children and her two godchildren a few weeks ago when police in Forney, Texas got a call that a beige or tan Toyota, occupied by 4 black males, was seen with one of the occupants waving a gun.

 

Kametra, in the meantime, was driving a red Nissan Maxima.

 

So when she exited the highway where the alleged beige Toyota had allegedly also exited, cops pulled hereover and hauled her out at gunpoint.

Put your guns down: Barbour's 6-year-old son Ryan eventually gets out of the car and officers realize they have pulled over the wrong vehicle

 

Fortunately, she acted far more professional than the cops, and mercifully no one was shot. The cops soon realized their error and apologized, sort of. Meanwhile, the 4 little children in the car were understandably hysterical, terrified that they were going to jail. Can you imagine how long it’s going to take for them to get over the trauma and fears of the police—the very people who are supposed to make them feel safe?

 

Since this story went viral, the Forney Police Department’s Facebook page has also apologized profusely. That hasn’t stopped the racist and haters for complaining that this is a non-story. They forgot to explain why a red car driven by a woman was pulled over when the call came for a beige car driven by a man. 

Angered: Barbour says she's still upset about the incident

 

It’s called DWB—Driving While Black.

THE FETUS IS A TRAMP

 

Republican Texas Representative Michael Burgess is pro-abortion. Not a surprise there.

What is surprising is that the former Ob/Gyn came out with a shocking statement during the House Rules Committee debate on the “Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act” on Monday.

 “There is no question in my mind that a baby at twenty weeks after conception can feel pain. The fact of the matter is, I argue with the chairman because I thought the date was far too late. We should be setting this at fifteen weeks, sixteen weeks,” said he. “Watch a sonogram of a fifteen-week baby, and they have movements that are purposeful. They stroke their face. If they’re a male baby, they may have their hand between their legs. If they feel pleasure, why is it so hard to believe that they could feel pain?”

How did this man make it through medical school?

How can a former Ob/Gyn not know anything about fetal development? At fifteen weeks, a fetus still has a long way to go before it can truly feel or process information. The photo above is of a sixteen-week fetus. How is this fetus going to reach down and get frisky? Unbelievable.

According to The Journal of the American Medical Association, the neural connections necessary for the brain to feel pain (let alone engage “movements that are purposeful”) aren’t in place until around the 24th week. Check out that pesky little fact at:  http://jama.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=201429.

Surely Burgess is aware of this pesky little fact.

Maybe not. Maybe his own hand is between his legs, clouding the judgment of his own ill-formed neural connections.

How did this man get elected?

Yet another reason never to move to Texas.