THE TROUBLE WITH HARRY

Or what should be (but of course isn’t), if you’re a Cheney.

Sad but true…here I am, right back to the haters. Top of the list is the indescribable Dick Cheney, who lambasted President Obama about the mess in Iraq—a perfect Murdochian moment in the Wall Street Journal.

The mess that he, Dick Cheney, is wholly responsible for creating.

In one of the most astonishingly hypocritical political statements of all time, Tricky Dicky said, “Rarely has a U.S. president been so wrong about so much at the expense of so many.”

And he wasn’t even talking about Bush!

Thankfully, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid let rip on the Senate floor. “If there’s one thing this country does not need, is that we should be taking advice from Dick Cheney on wars,” a furious Harry said. “Being on the wrong side of Dick Cheney is being on the right side of history. To the architects of the Iraq War who are now so eager to offer their expert analysis, I say, Mr. President, thanks, but no thanks. Unfortunately, we have already tried it your way and it was the biggest foreign policy blunder in the history of the country.”

Not that Cheney cares. What I hope is that the sheer awfulness of what he said will backfire, and not in the way he intended. It’s the least that the dead deserve.

KRISTALLNACHT OF THE SOUL

In a mind-boggling display of entitlement-drenched cluelessness, a venture capitalist named Thomas Perkins saw fit to pen a letter to the editors at the Wall Street Journal, entitled “Progressive Kristallnacht Coming?”

In further proof—as if you needed it—that sacks’o cash do not necessarily buy class, brains, compassion, or understanding, Thomas had the audacity to complain about how awful it is to be referred to as the “one percent,” and to (gasp!) have to pay taxes on his gold bars. Why, it’s just as awful as being a Jew in Germany, about to be exterminated! 

“I would call attention to the parallels of fascist Nazi Germany to its war on its ‘one percent,’ namely its Jews, to the progressive war on the American one percent, namely the ‘rich,'” wrote Mr. Greedy Guts. “From the Occupy movement to the demonization of the rich embedded in virtually every word of our local newspaper, the San Francisco Chronicle, I perceive a rising tide of hatred of the successful one percent. There is outraged public reaction to the Google buses carrying technology workers from the city to the peninsula high-tech companies which employ them. We have outrage over the rising real-estate prices which these ‘techno geeks’ can pay….This is a very dangerous drift in our American thinking. Kristallnacht was unthinkable in 1930; is its descendent ‘progressive’ radicalism unthinkable now?”

Wow! Some middle fingers have been wagged at the smarmy mugs of spoiled, overpaid techno-brats on their free busses to work—just like hard labor at Bergen-Belsen!

Wow! Some spoiled, overpaid techno-brats have pushed the middle class out of the neighborhoods they’ve lived in all their lives—just like being herded into the Warsaw Ghetto to die of starvation!

Wow! Some spoiled, overpaid venture capitalist looks out at all those horrible poor people standing in line for a free meal because greedy pigs like him have closed their factories—just like having your business smashed to smithereens and being told you’re vermin before being shot by the Gestapo!

Thomas Perkins, please, go off in one of your private jets to one of your mega-mansions and lick your horrible, painful, life-changing, soul-sucking wounds in private. While you’re moaning about the savage public reaction to your disgusting paean of selfishness and greed, perhaps you might consider a more suitable means of disposing of your fortune.

To, perhaps, the survivors of the Holocaust.

 

THIGHMASTER SUZANNE

If you’re going to write an Op-Ed for a major newspaper, it does help your credibility just a teensy bit if you bother to do a bit of fact-checking before submission.

If you’re a major newspaper, it does help your credibility just a whole freaking lot if you bother to fact-check your Op-Ed pieces, even if they have been written by certifiable morons like actress-turned-hormone-peddler-turned-Thighmaster-turned-quack Suzanne Somers.

Tsk-tsk, Wall Street Journal. In their Murdoch Koch Brothers Tea Party psycho conservative rush to demonize everything Obamacare, they stooped so low asked Suzanne to write about the Affordable Care Act. She entitled her piece: “The Affordable Care Act Is a Socialist Ponzi Scheme.”

Because she’s, like, so completely bonkers well-informed on the topic.

A short while after the babble and bullshit piece went up, not one but three corrections soon followed:

“An earlier version of this post contained a quotation attributed to Lenin (“Socialized medicine is the keystone to the arch of the socialist state”) that has been widely disputed. And it included a quotation attributed to Churchill (“Control your citizens’ health care and you control your citizens“) that the Journal has been unable to confirm.

“Also, the cover of a Maclean’s magazine issue in 2008 showed a picture of a dog on an examining table with the headline “Your Dog Can Get Better Health Care Than You.” An earlier version of this post incorrectly said the photo showed and headline referred to a horse.

Stick to the thighs, Suzanne, honey.

They don’t need fact-checking.

GETTING GASSY

 

There was a brilliant smackdown of yet another Murdoch-Inspired Koch Brothers-Fueled Faux News  Wall Street Journal “editorial” by one of my favorite science writers, Phil Plait, at his site Bad Astronomy: http://www.slate.com/blogs/bad_astronomy/2013/05/10/carbon_dioxide_and_global_warming_more_is_not_better.html

According to the two “scientists” who wrote the puff piece, carbon dioxide is good because it makes plants grow. Duh. This is the dumbest explanation yet for denying global warming. Even an oft-science-challenged person like moi can see through their smokescreen.

Especially when the lead story in the NY Times this past Saturday reported that carbon dioxide levels in the atmosphere are now higher than 400 parts per million—for the first time in millions of years.  That is very scary stuff. Especially for all people living near a coastline or on an island. The seas are going to rise, even if the Koch Brothers WSJ doesn’t choose to believe it.

Which is why I’m glad further details leaking the authors to—bonus points if you guess it!!—certain think tanks and sponsors is up here: http://mediamatters.org/research/2013/05/09/wall-street-journals-idiocracy-co2-is-what-plan/193986.

Our planet is in trouble. Climate is changing and that means the weather is changing.

The only people happy about it are disaster buffs.

And tornado chasers.